Actually despite the blog title, Tiffany Christensen, author of "Sick Girl Speaks", narrowed that concept down for us in a session she spearheaded called, "Ten Opportunities of Illness." It's a mindset that most people likely don't have--thinking of their illness as an opportunity--but perhaps it's one that we all should embrace once we're ready.
As she says, "There's no denying the impact physical disabilities can have on one's professional life, relationships and self-esteem...at the same time, there is a side to illness that we often ignore: The gifts."
She enlightened us with ten key opportunities, and had session attendees break up into smaller groups where they were asked to come up with the challenges they faced, and some solutions (big and small) to those challenges. She usually does this program during a ten-hour session, but did a condensed version for us that lost none of its "nutritional value."
Although it would have been swell to be there, even if you weren't, there are things to take away. So, here's to sharing some of the discussion highlights:
Opportunity #1: I AM NOT ILLNESS
The thrust of the thought is the challenge to connect with the separation between body, mind and spirit. What does it mean to "be sick"? Our body is sick, but there is a place within us that is never sick, never scared and never tired.
Challenges: Trying not to dwell on your symptoms
Strategies: Focus on the positive and the "well" parts of your body and mind, be thankful each day and having a spirit of giving, ask others what you can do for them instead of what they can do for you, remember life is all in the attitude.
Opportunity #2: TAKING CONTROL
If you spend enough time in healthcare settings, it's almost impossible to ignore the value of patient empowerment through patient advocacy.
Challenges: There's a lot of doctors and healthcare professionals out there to choose from, and a lot of them know very little, if anything, about LAM. There's also potentially a lot of medications to challenge us as well.
Strategies: First find a doctor who knows about the disease, or a doctor who is WILLING TO LEARN along with you. Educate yourself about the different medications out there, what each one of them does, and don't hesitate to ask a nurse or doctor to clearly explain about each one of them. (If they won't explain, ask for another nurse or doctor!)
Opportunity #3: STILL BODY, FORWARD MIND
As our bodies become less able, look for strategic ways to use your limitations as a motivation to explore the unexplored.
Challenges: Fear of trying the unknown, fear of failure
Strategies: Start off by keeping it simple, enroll in an online class, try an art--be it cross stitching or something else, keep your mind running--crosswords or soduku anyone? Keep your internal playground up and running.
Opportunity #4: SELF-HELP
Coping with pain and other physical discomforts can be overwhelming. Are there other techniques outside of Western medications that can aid in decreasing discomfort?
Challenges: Sifting the good from the bad, finding practitioners who really know what they're doing
Strategies: Look into the holistic approach, but make sure that recommendations work with what your traditional doctor has perscribed, get support from one another, pay more attention to yourself--ok maybe you can't go on a vacation to relax, but can you have a staycation in which you do something small but special for yourself? Network in your local area to find out who has gotten good responses, look into what your insurance actually covers as it may be more than you thought!
Opportunity #5: WHY ME
People facing illness often find themselves in a crisis of faith. Here's an opportunity to explore our faith deeper and more authentically.
Challenges: Defining what your faith means to you in the first place
Strategies: Accept help from others, allow others to be a part of your life experience and let them help you.
Opportunity #6: EQUAL OPPORTUNITY COMPASSION
People dealing with illness may feel depressed and cheated. When is it time to transform self-pity into compassion for the self?
Challenges: going through the different stages of grief
Strategies: Take care of yourself, remember you aren't the only one dealing with something like this-there could be somebody who's dealing with something worse, get involved, volunteers, have faith--whatever that means to you, be kind to everyone because we're all fighting some sort of battle
Opportunity #7: LOVING THROUGH ILLNESS
Difficulty can make people grow apart or grow stronger together. Despite illness, relationships remain a two-way street.
Challenges: Keeping the relationship together
Strategies: Talk about things you might not have talked about together before, listen to what the other people are saying, accept that everyone has a different role and accept them for what they are and not what you expect them to be
Opportunity #8: TRANSFORMING THE ILLNESS IDENTITY CRISIS
There is something that happenes when a person becomes sick and loses their sense of purpose. Those around the patient have difficulty knowing how to best relate to them.
Challenges: Re-discovering your sense of purpose and allowing others to connect with that evolving identity
Strategies: Get your family to accept your illness if they haven't already, realize and identify what your new sense of purpose is and allow it to come organically
Opportunity #9: SAYING GOODBYE MY WAY
There is one undeniable benefit to being sick: the opportunity to plan ahead.
Challenges: Most family and friends don't want to hear it. Some may be too young to understand it.
Strategies: Educate them, give them brochures, send them to the LAM Foundation website, tell them it's okay, and what you want to be able to do, photograph or videotape things about yourself for them to remember when you're gone, document things--write them down.
Opportunity #10: GRATITUDE WITHOUT LIMITS
After a person comes to a place of acceptance with illness, the next step is moving into gratitude--by consciously embracing the unique experiences of living on earth.
Challenges: Having to work or go about your normal life while still dealing with things, a lack of knowledge about what to do if/when you need to change the way you've been living
Strategies: Keep a gratitude journal, start by appreciating the little things, work to adapt your energy so it's used differently.
As I had a moment to chat with Tiffany after the session I pointed out how many times alone that I've made promises to myself to do the kinds of things that were highlighted during the session. She told me that her therapist once gave her a good piece of advice saying, "Write yourself a note saying REMEMBER TO REMEMBER."
Eden Pontz
As she says, "There's no denying the impact physical disabilities can have on one's professional life, relationships and self-esteem...at the same time, there is a side to illness that we often ignore: The gifts."
She enlightened us with ten key opportunities, and had session attendees break up into smaller groups where they were asked to come up with the challenges they faced, and some solutions (big and small) to those challenges. She usually does this program during a ten-hour session, but did a condensed version for us that lost none of its "nutritional value."
Although it would have been swell to be there, even if you weren't, there are things to take away. So, here's to sharing some of the discussion highlights:
Opportunity #1: I AM NOT ILLNESS
The thrust of the thought is the challenge to connect with the separation between body, mind and spirit. What does it mean to "be sick"? Our body is sick, but there is a place within us that is never sick, never scared and never tired.
Challenges: Trying not to dwell on your symptoms
Strategies: Focus on the positive and the "well" parts of your body and mind, be thankful each day and having a spirit of giving, ask others what you can do for them instead of what they can do for you, remember life is all in the attitude.
Opportunity #2: TAKING CONTROL
If you spend enough time in healthcare settings, it's almost impossible to ignore the value of patient empowerment through patient advocacy.
Challenges: There's a lot of doctors and healthcare professionals out there to choose from, and a lot of them know very little, if anything, about LAM. There's also potentially a lot of medications to challenge us as well.
Strategies: First find a doctor who knows about the disease, or a doctor who is WILLING TO LEARN along with you. Educate yourself about the different medications out there, what each one of them does, and don't hesitate to ask a nurse or doctor to clearly explain about each one of them. (If they won't explain, ask for another nurse or doctor!)
Opportunity #3: STILL BODY, FORWARD MIND
As our bodies become less able, look for strategic ways to use your limitations as a motivation to explore the unexplored.
Challenges: Fear of trying the unknown, fear of failure
Strategies: Start off by keeping it simple, enroll in an online class, try an art--be it cross stitching or something else, keep your mind running--crosswords or soduku anyone? Keep your internal playground up and running.
Opportunity #4: SELF-HELP
Coping with pain and other physical discomforts can be overwhelming. Are there other techniques outside of Western medications that can aid in decreasing discomfort?
Challenges: Sifting the good from the bad, finding practitioners who really know what they're doing
Strategies: Look into the holistic approach, but make sure that recommendations work with what your traditional doctor has perscribed, get support from one another, pay more attention to yourself--ok maybe you can't go on a vacation to relax, but can you have a staycation in which you do something small but special for yourself? Network in your local area to find out who has gotten good responses, look into what your insurance actually covers as it may be more than you thought!
Opportunity #5: WHY ME
People facing illness often find themselves in a crisis of faith. Here's an opportunity to explore our faith deeper and more authentically.
Challenges: Defining what your faith means to you in the first place
Strategies: Accept help from others, allow others to be a part of your life experience and let them help you.
Opportunity #6: EQUAL OPPORTUNITY COMPASSION
People dealing with illness may feel depressed and cheated. When is it time to transform self-pity into compassion for the self?
Challenges: going through the different stages of grief
Strategies: Take care of yourself, remember you aren't the only one dealing with something like this-there could be somebody who's dealing with something worse, get involved, volunteers, have faith--whatever that means to you, be kind to everyone because we're all fighting some sort of battle
Opportunity #7: LOVING THROUGH ILLNESS
Difficulty can make people grow apart or grow stronger together. Despite illness, relationships remain a two-way street.
Challenges: Keeping the relationship together
Strategies: Talk about things you might not have talked about together before, listen to what the other people are saying, accept that everyone has a different role and accept them for what they are and not what you expect them to be
Opportunity #8: TRANSFORMING THE ILLNESS IDENTITY CRISIS
There is something that happenes when a person becomes sick and loses their sense of purpose. Those around the patient have difficulty knowing how to best relate to them.
Challenges: Re-discovering your sense of purpose and allowing others to connect with that evolving identity
Strategies: Get your family to accept your illness if they haven't already, realize and identify what your new sense of purpose is and allow it to come organically
Opportunity #9: SAYING GOODBYE MY WAY
There is one undeniable benefit to being sick: the opportunity to plan ahead.
Challenges: Most family and friends don't want to hear it. Some may be too young to understand it.
Strategies: Educate them, give them brochures, send them to the LAM Foundation website, tell them it's okay, and what you want to be able to do, photograph or videotape things about yourself for them to remember when you're gone, document things--write them down.
Opportunity #10: GRATITUDE WITHOUT LIMITS
After a person comes to a place of acceptance with illness, the next step is moving into gratitude--by consciously embracing the unique experiences of living on earth.
Challenges: Having to work or go about your normal life while still dealing with things, a lack of knowledge about what to do if/when you need to change the way you've been living
Strategies: Keep a gratitude journal, start by appreciating the little things, work to adapt your energy so it's used differently.
As I had a moment to chat with Tiffany after the session I pointed out how many times alone that I've made promises to myself to do the kinds of things that were highlighted during the session. She told me that her therapist once gave her a good piece of advice saying, "Write yourself a note saying REMEMBER TO REMEMBER."
Eden Pontz
Wow!!! Thanks for writing this!! Powerful message.
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